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Involuntary breaths

Discussion in 'La Torre de Babel' started by lluviadeabril, Feb 20, 2013. Replies: 5 | Views: 923

  1. lluviadeabril

    lluviadeabril lluvia & rain

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    I miss you
    in the breath of broken promise
    of involuntary verses
    in the prose I cannot write.

    I miss you in a senseless beat of irony
    and the nights that close my eyes
    the truth that strikes the wall
    in the calm and the collapse
    in the storm that will not pass.

    I miss you
    in a corner of the mind
    too often occupied
    with involuntary rhymes
    –in all that I cannot write.

     
    #1
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2015
    lettizzia and (deleted member) like this.
  2. Magnificent poem, tender, painful and much more all live. Grcias por compartir. Un abrazo. G.J.A.
     
    #2
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 20, 2013
  3. Roman Vieira

    Roman Vieira El cuervo rojo que te observa en silencio.

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    I'm a little bit rusty here, but I still have an idea (two in fact).

    Well the poem is sad but still romantic... you could possibly be talking about a human, someone you miss quite lot, that inspires you in the involuntary rhymes, which means, he is the storm that will not pass and the truth that strikes the wall, and bla bla bla about the corny (yet beautiful)stuff, but!!! (here comes the second idea) I think that is mistaken, why? because i think this goes far away from a person, so, here i go.

    The poem mentions a senseles beat of irony... what could be more ironc than being thinking about writing when every time you try... you just can't. I mean, i think this poem goes for that, the involuntary rhymes that happen when your not wrinting but happens not when you try... the calm qhen you accept that fact but the collapse when the storm comes to strike the wall and you get in despair thinking it will never pass, and even when your mind is ocupied... not a single idea comes and so you miss her (the inspiration). You miss her even thoght you have it, but still, she's in all you cannot write.

    An yeah, maybe i'm just a little high because i haven't slpt in days but... you have to admit that it's quite posible if not the right answer =D

    Long time no see but glad you're back and i have insomnia and the walls keep talking to me and telling me i may be right with my comment... i hope, they hope too.

    And sorry about the lenght... but believe me, i wanted to say more, i just couldn't figure out how to do it in human language (I'm fuzed right now) =D long live the freahy words i cannot use in all i cannot write.

    guhs fr yoi my dear.
    (whych possibly means: hugs for you my dear... in another freaky language -.-')

    =D
     
    #3
  4. amormejia

    amormejia Poeta veterano en el portal

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    Great poema from beginning to end. I has been a great pleasure stopping by and leaving you all the stars in the universe.
     
    #4
  5. Lourdes C

    Lourdes C POETISA DEL AMOR

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    It is a beautiful poem. There is a lot of emotion in it.
    I have to admit that it touched me deeply.
    Blessings!
    Lou
     
    #5
  6. lettizzia

    lettizzia Poeta recién llegado

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    Love it! Thanks for sharing !
     
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