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Sweet Goddess

Tema en 'La Torre de Babel' comenzado por silveriddragon, 9 de Julio de 2019. Respuestas: 3 | Visitas: 553

  1. silveriddragon

    silveriddragon Poeta fiel al portal

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    A million of years flows in my mind
    when I drink that potion of wisdom.
    I've been living in many worlds of horror and light
    and finally I realize I shouldn't criticize.

    Only when I
    appreciated that moment
    I could understand how infinitely valuable you were
    Been dying in a world that repeats itself over and over again
    and I just can see in the other side of the river with no name.

    I tried to defy that creation
    but I only can see the world through the looking glass
    Into the boundary all the thoughts was fading out
    but your sweet words saved me from myself.
    I thought I was hallucinating
    but it was only me, spellbound
    with the darkness o
    f the eclipse
    and the blood red moon.


    Then I had to do a choice
    that was my own to make
    A leap of faith
    Could I survive
    without you and the tender lies
    Finding out finally my real life?

    You make me your believer
    of your divine personality,
    intelligence and elegancy.
    With no believer
    This will seal the deal
    Annul the liar within me
    I bought the prophecy
    "you and I will be happy indeed".

    I tried to defy that creation
    but I only can see the world through the looking glass
    Into the boundary all the thoughts was fading out
    but your sweet words saved me from myself.
    I thought I was hallucinating
    but it was only me, spellbound
    with the darkness
    of the eclipse
    and the blood red moon.


    I won’t let you go
    All this time my mind found an apparent pleasant parade
    I just wish a bright future for you and me
    even if we will never stay together
    and I hope this was a valuable and true escape.
     
    #1
    Última modificación: 22 de Julio de 2019
    A MARIANNE, bristy y Ulpiano les gusta esto.
  2. Ulpiano

    Ulpiano Obrero de la Poesía

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    Género:
    Hombre

    I like your poem appreciated poet and friend silveriddragon. I admire in your poem
    witty metaphors and an amazing fantasy, a mixture of romanticism, nostalgia and
    a slight gothic touch.

    I don'tknow why you repeat the strophe that begins with the verse "I tried to challenge
    that creation". Maybe it's because you want to emphasize the content of its verses.
    It seems
    to me that in the verse "I will not let go" you wanted to write "I will not let you go",
    because in this stanza you mean "she" implicitly, when you say "for you and me", "if we're ... "


    I congratulate you for your brilliant imagination and I wish you success in your poetic work
    in the English language.

    Another big and fraternal hug,

    Ulpiano
     
    #2
    A silveriddragon le gusta esto.
  3. silveriddragon

    silveriddragon Poeta fiel al portal

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    This is the very first time I try to do metaphors written in English. It's very difficult for me to do that, even in Spanish.

    Into my fantasies there are always two characters fighting for stay together. But it isn't on the God's plan. That's give me inspiration about a gothic environment.

    I repeat the strophe because of it is the axis of the poem. Three years ago when I started to write poems here in MundoPoesía I had many influences and I found many poems with this feature. Now I'm thinking to stop doing that :p

    I'm studying English and sometimes I make mistakes like that. Yep, I want to say "I will not let you go". Main character don't want to let her go but he needs to do.

    Thanks for the comment.
    that gives me an incentive to keep experimenting.

    A fraternal hug

    Silveriddragon
     
    #3
    Última modificación: 16 de Julio de 2019
    A Ulpiano le gusta esto.
  4. Guadalupe Cisneros-Villa

    Guadalupe Cisneros-Villa Dallas, Texas y Monterrey NL México

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    Género:
    Mujer
    We all experience leaps of faith. Some times those steps turn out positive other times no so much.
    I command you for venturing out and writing in a language that is not your own, you did a great job.

    XOXO (X=hugs and O= kisses)
     
    #4
    A silveriddragon le gusta esto.

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